Never back down from a good fight… Actually, never ever back down from ANY fight!
There is an amazing feeling that one gets whilst in the midst of anger, fighting (not physically) and or arguing… Somehow our ears seem to be picky of what we hear and the phrasing of words differ from what they actually sound like or are supposed to be received; we somehow become oblivious to reality and to the main issue at hand that got us into the argument.
The mind… Our strongest weapon turns and becomes the enemy to self. We kind of self-distrust as though a ticking bomb sitting and waiting. It is amusing and at the same time amazes me that my senses fool around with my body such as getting a bitter taste in your mouth, sudden fever that keeps climbing higher and high, ears having a steaming sensation as though a steam train, cheeks flushed red due to the high temperature, Eyes WIDE open as though screaming in silence, nostrils wide open breathing dry but yet humid air as though suffocating.
Hormones playing yin-yang inside our bodies as adrenalin oozes around our muscles and you see and tell from posture and hand gestures that a fist or open hand smack might be delivered at any given time. Anger, makes the body warm; it drives the the 3rd and last part from the sigmoid colon in the human body craaazy, and the twitch just somehow connects straight to your mouth and all that is foul comes out.
Regardless of who is right and who is wrong, in a fight we do not care; we only want to be heard… Yet, we lack listening… we lack patience … we lack understanding and mostly we cannot put ourselves in the other person standing in front of our shoes. All of this we call emotion; an emotional rollercoaster; passion and irrational behavior.
At that time it does not hurt, at that time the mind is not processing but just choosing whatever it can use to back fire… and it shoots back using the mouth as its pistol to hurt, to gain an upper hand, to wound, to shield ego. Later on… the heart processes all the echo left behind and hinders forgiveness.
The next time another argument comes up, the mind goes to the archive drawer and pulls the many last fights or arguments and overwhelms the new argument building emotions that come from the past and connecting unfitting puzzle pieces to create a phantom existing big piece of art that causes pain, guilt, resentment, hatred and again… anger.
After all that, do you still want to stand and fight?... Remember, you are hurting no one but YOURSELF.
I am Love's enemy-- the pain that never goes away, the destroyer of all that is good in your heart I take it you have now seen the monster that resides within, you have mingled and defined/ told apart the weak points from the good Your views from mine make me believe you to be right and i oh i now look down on myself with shame of the monster that i have become Allow me not to turn you into this beast i have become, run and run as far as you can. Hide and forget about my existence because this beast i so hate myself is still me I can not run but to stand and fight, I am in despair and denial I feel undeserving of anything great and pure For i have seen pure turn to dust and great turn to evil Why is the sun suddenly disappearing from my window- how is darkness falling upon me? Have i lost my guard? Is this pain self inflicted? or is the truth hard to swallow? Wake up rise and shine, the world awaits... no time for frowns and heartaches. why choose this soul out of so many? My ...
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