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Ignite me ,delight me ,define me. Find me free me, take me.

Lol, just random thoughts senseless to you but deeply rooted to me. Have you ever noticed how a room lights up when a genuine smile is introduced to it? Take note… you might learn a thing or two.

My mother is my Pillar, she says to me the other day- uyabonake mntanam ndihlala ndithandazi ndicela ukuba uYehova akugcine andigcine ndizendikubone uphumelela usezindaweni apho kuphezulu khona, apho kukho uthando nolonwabo Noxolo for wena kwalapha emhlabeni. Being conniving as always and opportunist at nature when it comes to taking chances with my mother I dared to say to her, so ke mama that means if I don’t pass my degree in the 3 year term that I am suppose to and I don’t get that office desk that I’ve had my eye on for almost a year now and I don’t get another zero added on my salary slip sooner than later…you will have the WILL and promise to stick around as long as it take? Lol… what did I say to you (chance taker)!?! She fell for it…she with an undoubtedly profound YES confirmed (you know that feeling you get when you catch your first bird ever buy trapping it into a homemade bird catcher eyenzwe ngevili lenstimbi and a iron net- that’s exactly how I felt). I then confidently tossed my accounting textbook aside and yawned saying to her “ well, I guess I am tired and am gonna (going to) watch a bit of T.V before heading to bed, I can write my first year paper for the next coming 3 years” lol… I didn’t get far, to my surprise she caught on fast. As she blew hot fumes into my eardrum increasing the volume of voltage and vibes from my cell phone sensors killing my eardrum twice the normal speed from daily cell phone usage it felt as though she was in front of me and I was 6 again caught with sugar traces as evidence covering my mouth white as snow . believe me when you 6 and you turn in that act, in a split second- you see Zeus with big arms furiously firmly clutched like a big tree branches on her waist- words disappear, you turn pale as a clean sheet and your brain stops working for a second that feels like a decade.

So dear friends, remember- Mothers are wise…they are not to be toyed around with or to be tricked into closing deals even if the intention is good. You won’t get away with it unless she wants you to.

After that brutal attack from the lioness saving a cub from stupidity, she turns and licks me on the same ear. So tell me unjani kodwa? Lol, no matter what- you will melt (believe me) the pain disappears. Moments like those are like taking long walks with the Dalai Lama to me or having tea with Precious Kofi and just talking going about the same thing in many different ways and opening boxes that Pandora missed. Or me telling her that her show and visit to Kenya Precious Africa was SUPERB. Through her I manage to see so many hidden truths and what we think ‘WAS’ is actually ‘IS’ in other places such as Kenya. The June 16th 1976 riots we had in South Africa is a two years ago thing that happened in Kenya. I watched her coming to the same conclusion of colour that I found in my head when you mix paints to make something new. The same realization and balanced total of an intangible math. The unforeseen forces of emotion when one has a heart and something just hits hard on your sixth sense that …NOT YET UHURU. I sobbed with her, I was angry with her and I was helpless as she was.

It’s a question she has, that I have, that Martin Luther King had and Marcus Garvey (“Our union must know no clime, boundary, or nationality… let us hold together under all climes and in every country”); Ernesto Che Guevara ("Those who kill their own children and discriminate daily against them because of the color of their skin; those who let the murderers of blacks remain free, protecting them, and furthermore punishing the black population because they demand their legitimate rights as free men - how can those who do this consider themselves guardians of freedom?") Malcolm X (“How could my father bash himself in the head, then get down across the streetcar tracks to be run over?"), Bob Marley ("the people who are trying to make this world worse aren’t taking a day off. How can I?")…How can we think we are free when other continents in the world still bleed, when our own South Africa still is falling apart. She speaks of the dust that has blinded the african men and women of their potential. The curtain of what one can be and not what you are and not what your current situation is. The worst war is against poverty .

I am at war with myself, I ask myself what more can I do, where can I go, why other can not have this eye? The eye to stare through bars of shame and release hope. Stare through cold winds and release warmth. Stare trhough broken dreams and release pontetial.

On Second thought… I will finish in that 3 years, add a Zero, go beyond the corner desk and will make a change or atleast try.

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