I found something from the past in my archives...almost 3 Years ago I had written a piece of my random thoughts and feelings I think you might find it interesting, here it is: The African woman has always been known and labelled as "the earth" (big with curves shaped as mountains and big breasted chest as the rivers and valley that surround and beautifies the earth). Many names we have received because of our big thighs and that gained us recognition as "the African woman" or "African beauty", now it seems that the modern male species are in preference of the more sporty type and model image. Yes, I also feel it to be true that the modern woman has taken pride and no shame in her shape these days with no concern nor guilt of how big they are. The women of today now live as prototypes for men. Apparently men prefer "more meat" in their bones and with curves. I say why care what another human being prefers? Rather combine being curvy and taking...

Never back down from a good fight… Actually, never ever back down from ANY fight! There is an amazing feeling that one gets whilst in the midst of anger, fighting (not physically) and or arguing… Somehow our ears seem to be picky of what we hear and the phrasing of words differ from what they actually sound like or are supposed to be received; we somehow become oblivious to reality and to the main issue at hand that got us into the argument. The mind… Our strongest weapon turns and becomes the enemy to self. We kind of self-distrust as though a ticking bomb sitting and waiting. It is amusing and at the same time amazes me that my senses fool around with my body such as getting a bitter taste in your mouth, sudden fever that keeps climbing higher and high, ears having a steaming sensation as though a steam train, cheeks flushed red due to the high temperature, Eyes WIDE open as though screaming in silence, nostrils wide open breathing dry but yet humid air as though suffocating. Hormone...

This life is no child’s play for real You know, some of us complain about how much you hate your boss and how unfair everything is There are people that don’t have jobs out there that will give anything to at least be working We are so spoilt of our comfort and never look back to realize how far we have come We often forget our beginnings and seek out more without considering other people’s feelings and priorities This life that we live in is really no child’s play But… that doesn't change the small desires that started us all in this place… Remember the stars use to shine brighter and if you were lucky you’d catch a shooting star and make a wish Remember there use to be wonderful moments of basking in the sun with no concern of skin cancer but enjoying the beauty and natural feel of being exposed to nature’s best Back in the day when priority and principle meant more than running away from reality We never use to hide behind spliff and a glass of beer…we were warriors then ...

Immense Controversy has broken lose in South Africa over the current ruling president Zuma and a portrait of a imaginary penis depicted as his on the painting. Tell me, how did we move from being worried about E-tolls, Youth Subsidy and Secrecy Bill to focusing on a penis drawing by some Australian painter (whom by the way gave the president a swag by posing him as the Johnny Walker pose and Kanye West posture) Some tedious things are expected to be fussed over by those with understandably a low I.Q score or below average. Hence I believe some things are to be dealt with in a more grown up manner or using your head rather than your pride. If you are involved with more than one woman (married to 6 with 21 children) that surely qualifies you as a "womaniser" unless my understanding of wikipedia and urban dictionaries is totally obscure. How many stories and discriminations have come-out before!? Waaay bigger than this painting and its penis... thousands and thousands and ye...

For eight years I had gotten used to preparing for the one big day in every year up to the July of 2011. This year is different, very different...no longer will I work towards this big event that use to be the center of my focus from the beginning of the year to the end of July. For the first time in eight years...its gone. Well, I have moved from my little bachelor flat that I use to complain about to a one bedroom that still needs unpacking. One would think I just moved in over the weekend but yet its been a week or two now since my move. I am much happier here even though I haven't found my energy nor interest to stand up and unpack. This place is much better that where I was, at-least here I cant complain much about the pests that I was sharing the previous flat with, now I am able to disappear into my room; shut the door and not see the roaches at the kitchen whilst sitting or relaxing on my bed. I must say - I am really pleased with this step I have taken (that might just b...

Wow, time flies…last year exactly around this time, I remember we had a crisis with H1N1 Virus, there were the xenophobia attacks happening and recession had hit S.A amidst. Really, it all feels like yesterday! Now that saying has become not just but feels even like it for me

Apart we grow slowly we fall Thee innocents no longer in tune with the dreams Would it be easy to allow it to just be? Apart we grow slowly we fall Toss and turn in the middle of the night Your fire may never come to ignite Apart we grow slowly we fall So easily comes the forbidden fruit To sooth and healeth thy sorrow Make me forget make me free Apart we grow slowly we fall No longer a whisper nor a scream Thy worth has waned out Interest has fallen along the way Apart we grow slowly we fall Cold as ice are the dreams Cold as ice are the words Not sure what to say nor how to say it Apart we grow slowly we fall

If you take a closer look…You might be able to see that life is a game. A chess game and we are the pawns in it. Life is but a dream, it is made out of sweet dreams and nightmares. If you have more nightmares than sweet dreams then your life is a nightmare. I am not as naïve as I look…nah that not me talking; that was a line in a series said by Sookie telling her blood sucking stone cold main streaming man. We wear many masks, we are shape-shifter that gives an illusion to others- I can be whatever you want to see happening in your eyes. That’s going with the flow. Don’t forget, it’s a game. You have to play well and play wise because:- You might think you are winning but yet leaving your queen wide open You might think you are getting your way and are manipulating your opponent…but never underestimate your enemy 'match mate’ (enemy is such strong of a word) because you might be taken for a ride to dreamland… Driving naked to a breakfast 24hour joint; …that’s just another scenario ...

I have a nerve to break free and voice the anger within me that burns so much of me. It destroys my dreams and my plans for my future It leaves me empty with no words to whisper nor describe the gruesomeness and rage I hold within How dare I allow myself to think there be wrong with me and that I am undeserving of happiness and glory Wipe this tear that seem to run out of line with the other tear drops that fall straight from the eye down my chick to my hands This one goes from the eye to my ear straight to my heart, what tear are you? The salt burns the muscle within and as my heart rate increases, it slowly burns a whole I seek no longer to mother whilst I’ve never bared a child in my belly to life I seek no longer to argue because my debate days were much long enough and fun in high school mostly I seek no longer to question because I somehow do not wish to know the answers or the reasons behind them And so, I do away with that tear; stop the salt from tearing me apart…slowly but su...

Its amazing to look deep at a lion’s glare and see a puppy… this goes to prove that there is a heart in every stone cold person. As much as majority of people are against the beliefs and morals of the late AWB leader Terre'Blanche, SABC 3 Special Assignment broad casted a live interview done by the dead Boer comrade. As much as I am of different nature to this man, and as much as I have bitter blood for his kind but I do respect a man who is Pro humanity and Fairness. His arrogance may have propelled him to become the male chauvinist that he was now that was unfortunate. And this man was seen as the devil on a horse because of his ways and means. But this is just a mere example of how a person can be so misunderstood and misjudged to the point where they become that which is perceived of them. And also the opposite of this situation can also occur, when chance and chance again is given and yet one fails to understand or manipulate that chance to their favour. It is gruesome and sad...

Sundays are usually a day to relax and kick back for most of us. We sleep till late and start the day only at 18:00 in the evening. We go through the 6 days of the week, 5 days at work and Saturdays at the library and Sundays...for sleeping. But, there ARE those who seek comfort and work 7 days a week ad still manage to wake up early on Sunday morning and go to church. You always wonder why people take the time to get out of their houses and go to a church if they can still prays the Lord at their own houses. It is said that the church is the house of the Lord, it is where one goes to seek salvation and truth. The church is made for one to come and take off of the burdens of the week and to thank the Lord for the blessings and grace that have been given to you. I always had an excuse for not going to church ever since I left my home town, amongst the many reasons, the church was too far to attend or the environment was too different from what I know from back home... Today...I went to ...

Smell this hand…smell that!?! That is the smell of hope…the smell of love and the smell of faith Hold it and hold it tight maybe the smell might rub off unto you. How much and how many will it take for you to know that those elements exist because of this hand? Are you willing to give up when science goes wrong or should I also say when humans with college education fail? Or you believe the best is still not found as yet? Why not let your this hand shows you thee science and thee glory? You shut yourself from believing and yet you suffer- if you suffer now, then what is there to lose from believing? Once you believe, all comes into light- regardless of whether this hand is your last option to try…this hand is always there extended to your reach and whenever you want to hold it available at your side. Take this hand whenever you need it, I suggest holding it everyday until you see light After that, you may let go of it as you once did but this hand judges not what you have done before a...

The humble servant of the people. 27 years in jail and by God’s Will, you were set free Its 20 years now and you still breath the same air as me…it’s an honour. Dr Rholihlahla Nelson Mandela, you are my Hero

I was starting school that year, I was scared as hell- come to think of it now- I have no idea what was so frightening?!? I remember getting lost after break trying to find my classroom- lol; I thought it was the end of the world. You don’t understand how frightening it is, to a five year old (turning six) to be in an environment full of people the same age screaming ,shouting, crying and just running loose. It was chaotic (I think my phobia of being in large groups of people started then) I came back from school that day to find my mom and a few of my uncles and aunties dancing with Joy, I still was in the dark (confused). Whilst at school, we did hear some commotion earlier that day and we ran to the classroom windows to see what was happening outside… I ran to my room to put my school bag down and went to sit next to my mom; they were chatting and drinking in celebration. I played a guessing game in my head “is it my birthday today? No, there’s no cake, hmmm, is it my mom’s birthday...

There are so many things that one tends to forget and take for granted. I witnessed a blessing today as I realised that for once in my life my eyes were not looking somewhere else and I did’t miss it. Its odd how WE as humans pray so hard and so much for things that are given to us but yet can’t see them. Us people, we do not acknowledge or we are totally ignorant of so much that we receive. Today as I walked out my door, that little voice inside me said “take an umbrella” and I thought to myself nah, I’ll be fine. After getting inside the taxi, it started pouring like crazy outside. That voice said “I told you so”, feeling a bit of defeat and resentment I watched the rain and said a silent prayer. I got to my first exit destination to find another taxi to work; I ran in the rain and made it with a few drops. Just after boarding to final destination, it started again and this time, it seemed like the Angels were doing a “spring-cleaning”. I found myself sad and helpless because of this...

Let the New Year begin Be grateful of 2009, may it been a lesson to you and your heart that there is good and there is evil Have the WILL to overlook your shadows and embrace your forefront My New Year’s Resolutions are: Conviction to change that will develop into determination and my determination will then transform into action If I was selfish I would be the happiest person standing Ask me no more of love because it has conquered me and diminished my existence as a free soul Let me walk and talk as though in a dream This year…Is not for me

No backpacks... No Windhoek... No Patrick... No New Year... Its all gone

Today, you should know enough about the history of AIDS and since last year we did a bit of a background check- this year the focus is more on you Zuma, South African current President recognises the threat that this enemy is coming to be. The killer of all, young and old AIDS is no friend, wish it upon none and protect yourself to the fullest, take a stand world! Rise above and stand and fight this enemy… You, sitting there thinking that it is the end of the world for you You, who thinks they bewitched you because of jealousy, You, who thinks by raping a child you will ridden this virus You, who thinks suicide is an option All of you…DON’T BE COWARDS! STAND AND FIGHT This life is yours; let no one and NOTHING take it from you. Take responsibility for your actions, accept the consequences, and take precaution Learn as much as possible about HIV/AIDS and be aware If you don’t know your status- Get tested today!

I am Love's enemy-- the pain that never goes away, the destroyer of all that is good in your heart I take it you have now seen the monster that resides within, you have mingled and defined/ told apart the weak points from the good Your views from mine make me believe you to be right and i oh i now look down on myself with shame of the monster that i have become Allow me not to turn you into this beast i have become, run and run as far as you can. Hide and forget about my existence because this beast i so hate myself is still me I can not run but to stand and fight, I am in despair and denial I feel undeserving of anything great and pure For i have seen pure turn to dust and great turn to evil Why is the sun suddenly disappearing from my window- how is darkness falling upon me? Have i lost my guard? Is this pain self inflicted? or is the truth hard to swallow? Wake up rise and shine, the world awaits... no time for frowns and heartaches. why choose this soul out of so many? My ...

I know what am not to know, the aim and what transpired were never premeditated Surprise, surprise it hit you on the face “damn I think I can hang with this” I just want a kiss I just want a lay, the night is young and a new year is coming Where art dwells thee, oh no where but bouncing around my own head because of boredom I hear you hang and lay my friends’ friend, my my that’s news to me, my friend told me that your friend was no more My my, how fine you are- I hear and saw that you get rocked back and forth Oh so, now you want to join the crowd? I am different, like no other you have seen…true, you are Window snatches, scraping, watching stars…Onion peels Toilets, garages chairs You hear that, what? Listen… Calling, calling, the train is about to leave- wait, I wanted to tell you that I … Calling, calling, hello…hi, I am at the bus station…good to see you again Calling, calling, your flight is leaving in 45 minutes…who will be there? No, you will see them and they will take you the...